I came home to find my couch cushions on the living room floor with everything I owned in my living room flying everywhere, as if my entire house had had a foam explosion. My pitbull was in the corner hiding, quaking, tail tucked. My front door had been scratched through the paint into the bare wood beneath.
And that was the day I realized I had been doing everything wrong. I was aware I had been leaving Bruno for extended periods of time, and I thought I was giving him enough. Long walks, good food, lots of fun toys.
But I hadn’t been providing any new pets to model my departure off of, and obviously Bruno was just losing his mind the second I walked out that door.
How to identify separation anxiety
Here’s the thing about pitbulls – they form bonds, hard. Like, velcro-dog hard.
And that may be one of the reasons we love them, but it also makes them particularly susceptible to losing their minds when their person isn’t there. Sometimes the damage is obvious, like how everything in my house was destroyed, but sometimes the signs are more subtle.
- Drooling
- Pacing
- Refusal to eat while you’re gone but gobbling up an entire bowl of kibble the minute you walk in the door
- Excessive barking
- Following the owner from room to room
Some dogs bark excessively—I only found out that mine did because the neighbor eventually told me and I felt terrible—or follow the owner from room to room, an endearing trait until you realize that it can be a symptom of your dog is far too attached to you. I’m not saying a dog can’t follow you around the house, but if a dog freaks out when you go to the bathroom alone, take a moment to consider whether that puppy is way too joined at the hip.
I was surprised to also discover that some dogs only become anxious with a specific individual, not that individual being gone, but walking out of the room without them.
What actually worked (and what didn’t)
I tried all kinds of internet solutions, some of which worked, some of which not only failed to work but were a big waste of money. The biggest realization for me was something called desensitization, which refers to slowly but surely getting the dog used to leaving in very tiny steps.
Every day I would grab my keys, go to the door, then come right back and sit on the couch and watch TV. Over time, I would repeat this exercise, fifty times if necessary, until my still-distraught dog was no longer remotely interested when I returned. Once that was as routine as tying my shoes, I would discretely walk outside my house for five seconds, then ten, then fifteen, then half an hour.
This process took weeks and even with the best of intentions I generally didn’t have the patience to practice every day. Still, riding my bike may not have tiring a tired dog, but it gave me a regular routine that made my departure not a mystery and therefore less stressful for the canine.
Crate Training
For a dog who is suffering moderate anxiety, I would also recommend thought employment of crate training, a lot of people feel it is inherently cruel, but in my experience and that of many owners I have spoken with, a lab can benefit and feel better having a den-like space where they can’t see everything that they think they need to be protecting you from.
The trick is to create the space long before you are ever supposed to use it for alone time.
What To Avoid
- Leaving the television on for distraction (my mutt was totally indifferent)
- Purchasing anxiety wraps (some dogs do show benefit from this, mine were 0 for 3 in this category)
- Attempting to sneak away without them noticing
This last tactic only increased the dog’s anxiety, because you never knew for sure if you had just left without so much as a “by-your-leave”.
When to get professional help
No, I’ve only ever used my owner intuition so I can’t say exactly when to take a dog for professional instruction. If your dog doesn’t improve after a month of the time and effort you are putting forth, or if he or she appears to be physically hurting themselves (breaking teeth trying to break out of a crate or excessively biting their paws raw) there may be a problem that requires inspection by a professional. Some anesthesia warrants an immediate call to the veterinarian; others require a professional trainer that I have found to be more expert in behavioral modification.
A veterinary behaviorist may also prescribe medication to help if behavior modification doesn’t already do the trick.